Ugly

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I am ugly
See my faked facial expression
contorted into a
smile
my skin red hot with acne
wild
Greasy, unruly hair I haven’t washed
The lighting’s all wrong.
Don’t look at me.
*
See
The dark hair on my upper lip
The bad angle and that double chin
My body shape
Too fat too thin
It’s real.
*
Be
Disgusted by the smell of me
The stains on my dungarees
Blood clotted on my holed
Panties.
*
The stubble on my woman’s leg
My dirty nails
And aching head.
Where does my woman’s value
truly rest
*
I am not fit for your consumption
This body is a heresy
The God of Marketed Beauty bellows
“UGLY”.
Not fit for what you want from me.
Not fit for being touched or seen
I hide away but the magazines
still chide me.
*
I have consumed the taglines
The headlines and the soundbites
“I’m worth it” if I act right
and preen.
*
Why is it that I wasn’t born
photoshopped or waxed like porn
I’m tired and broke and dying
to conform.
*
I am consumed by ugly
My every nook and cranny
Suffers from my abused
self-esteem.
*
I have consumed the taglines
The headlines and the soundbites
It’s time I figured out
What’s really me.

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4 thoughts on “Ugly”

  1. A humble and complementary poetic response with an old poem of mine from a book I published but turned back, it’s in spanish, it’s hard to translate poems without taking away the original language’s unique expressions but at least you’ll get its energy. Big hug marvellous Anais. Appreciate you from the heart dear sister. Marce

    LA FUENTE DEL MARAVILLARSE *

    Me maravilla tu belleza no libre de errores
    poder observarte en ese movimiento continuo de luces y sombras
    que recuerdan los espejos que reflejan tu mirada…

    Me maravilla el hecho de poder observar,
    de existir observando, de ser la existencia que observa tu belleza
    en plena vida y regalo…

    Me maravilla tu presencia en este espacio y en este tiempo,
    como lo haría en esa eternidad donde transcurren los momentos
    en que nuestras observaciones se unifican…

    Me maravilla la tendencia a agradecerte
    por tanta belleza de alma que contribuyes a acrecentar en mi
    por el solo hecho de tu existencia…
    Me maravilla la tendencia a agradecer por no ser dueño de manejar
    los comienzos y los finales de los cuerpos, de los pensamientos
    y de la ajena voluntad…

    Porque gracias a la aceptación de lo que es, alcanzo la libertad plena para volar
    en ese compartir gratuito, simple y genuino de nuestras presencias
    danzando en esta inigualable oportunidad de disfrutar lo que ambos somos
    en acciones sin movimiento ni formas …

    Me maravilla el hecho de la vida en el espacio y fuera de él,
    y saber que aquello inefable que sin palabras se siente
    lo descubro como tu presencia que me busca en los rincones
    donde ha sabido mi alma jugar,
    y donde la encuentra mi voluntad de ser encontrado por tan infinita belleza
    encarnada en un espejo
    que refleja la mutua encarnación del Ser en el tiempo…

    Gracias por ser la eterna fuente del maravillarse…

    * Autor: Marce Clarembaux

  2. This is so beautiful,
    Thank you for sharing this poem,
    It is not only insightful, but it also speaks about the kind of person you are,
    It speaks about your fearlessness against embracing who you are and your burning passion to be that expression of the authentic and true self,
    It must be a really long and tiresome journey to come this far,
    so that a pearl,such as this, springs forth from the garden of one’s heart…

    Bowing to you,
    and eversograteful to be reading this expression of your abundant heart…

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